and we fight. again.

same shit. different day.
i feel horrible physically. i*m exhausted from work. i can barely see straight from all the pain killers i*m on, and he wants to me to drive an hour and a half to rocky point tonight just so i can see him for two hours? yeah… becuase that*s gonna happen. maybe if i was rich and had the money to go out there every day and if it was actually safe to drive when you can*t see the road…
so we had a fight. and he started saying mean stuff, not trying to be mean, but like, it hurt, and i got upset and he got mad and i got mad and we both got mad and now we*re in a fight and my head hurts from these stupid drugs and he told me that i have no life now because all i do is work to pay off my car and i*m not fun anymore because i*m too tired to do things. whatever. i have a job so i can afford my car and so i can take him places and buy him food and drive to go see him. i don*t have a job because i want one. i have a job because i have to have one. he sits around and does nothing with his day, and then he can*t understand why all i want to do when i get home from work is sit down for 5 minutes….
i feel so married.
and i want to do is have him hug me and tell me it*s all better…

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