grrr

they were expecting rain and thundershowers today.
me and alana were expecting to ride.
i went out to jericho to get her around 430 and we drove to the barn by connetquot park. by the time we got there, got the horses tacked, and were ready to go, it was about 6 oclock and starting to get dark… she rode some morgan horse and i rode her horse tanq. i*ve never ridden him before he was absolutely lovely. one of the nicer horses i*ve been on in a while. we only got to ride for about 40 minutes before we had to go back to the barn because connetquot park is 3,200 acres and it was getting stormy out… but we got a good run in and a couple jogs so i was happy. we got back around 645, put the horses away and split around 7. two seconds later, the sky opened up it was pitch black out and it started pouring. so we got *really* lucky… anyway.
i feel absolutely horrible. i love riding more than anything. i am never as happy as when i am on the back of a horse, running through the woods… but the second i dismounted, i almost collapsed. even 40 minutes of bullshit trail riding my ankle couldn*t handle, i c
ouldn*t put any weight on it… the drive home which was almost two hours was excruciating. my back was stiffening up… i couldn*t put any weight at all on my ankle so i don*t know how i even managed to keep my foot on the gas… honestly i almost passed out on route106 from the pain… and i*m miserable.
i*m laying in bed right now, i can*t move my back and i can*t stand up. i have shooting pains up the side of my leg that i feel as if i will pass out. i fucking hate this. i hate not being able to ride anymore. i hate it i hate it i hate it.

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