Archive for June, 2003

June 24, 2003

for real, this really sucks.

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June 24, 2003

i have completely given up on any possiblity of a friendship, let alone anything with him… it just ain*t happening… and i have to accept that… as much as it sucks and as much as it hurts, i mean nothing to him, and he leaves me with no other options…

June 24, 2003

hrm i just spoke to jonny wong from superstreet and he gave me info on how to get an internship for drexel coop with them… SWEET. what a fuckin cool guy… i want an asian boy =(

June 24, 2003

my job rocks. i stand around, do absolutely nothing, and get paid. the hours suck though. oh well.
today i had off and i went down to the barn because even though i haven*t been there in MONTHS they got this new horse in that nobody can ride and they want me to train him. well, i wound up having to work haha i had to push trails so i rode motown instead of the psychohorse cause i needed a reliable one… had a really great two rides… and they were freeee since i was workin. woo. motown did however act up as he *always* does and at one point got into a bucking//rearing fit, and so i leaned forward when i heared to smack him in the head and he gets himself back down on the ground and immediately threw his head back haha he smacked me in the face cause i wasn*t expecting it. black eye and a bloody lip. but i love him. so it*s all good.
went to the hospital tonight.
my lung collapsed a couple weeks ago and these past two days i haven*t been able to breathe at all so i sat in the ER for three hours until it was midnight then said fuck it and came home without being seen because i have work early tomorrow morning.
bleh.

June 23, 2003

god i really fucking miss it…

June 21, 2003

i keep having reoccuring dreams about him…
and they*re so heartbreaking
when i wake up i just want to cry,
but i won*t let myself.
the worst part is i know i have no chance,
it*ll never ever happen.
i have accepted that… kind of.
and i wish i could stop thinking about him.
during the day, i force myself not to,
but i can*t control my sleep-thoughts…
part of me wishes i never met him,
that he never happened.
but the other part of me,
cares about him so much that i could never forget…

June 20, 2003

my lj name…

dirtpunx
Magic Number 21
Job Actor
Personality Focussed And Driven
Temperament If I Lose It – Run
Sexual Whatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To Win The Respect Of My Colleagues
Me – In A Word Belligerent
Colour

my aol screenname…

sr20detg20girl
Magic Number 15
Job Conservationist
Personality Drifter
Temperament Steely
Sexual Straight
Likely To Win Another Gold Star
Me – In A Word Subtle
Colour

i just think its funny that my personality is “focused and driven” and then “drifter” hahaha. car-people will know what that means and why it*s ironic… =P

June 20, 2003

my lj name…

dirtpunx
Magic Number 21
Job Actor
Personality Focussed And Driven
Temperament If I Lose It – Run
Sexual Whatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To Win The Respect Of My Colleagues
Me – In A Word Belligerent
Colour

my aol screenname…

sr20detg20girl
Magic Number 15
Job Conservationist
Personality Drifter
Temperament Steely
Sexual Straight
Likely To Win Another Gold Star
Me – In A Word Subtle
Colour

i just think its funny that my personality is “focused and driven” and then “drifter” hahaha. car-people will know what that means and why it*s ironic… =P

June 20, 2003

okay, so let*s recap since i*ve been home.
got in saturday night. spent sunday doing laundry, errands, etc etc. monday, same stuff as tuesday. hung out with some friends saw who i needed to see whatev. tuesday. went down to harley, joey got me a job. other things. cleaned out my room. bought and assembled furniture so that i can unpack and have somewhere to put my clothes. started working at harley-davidson of nassau county yesterday… pretty cool job, i basically get paid to do nothing… got home late, went over to ultima, ordered my clutch… i*m doin act since clutchmasters has a tendency to break the straps on the pressure plate… the hachiroku guy showed up, at first i didn*t recognize him but i caught a glance of his car and remembered haha. he remembered me and is like the sweetest guy ever. we talked for like an hour i was impressed considering i only met him for like 30 mins and that was *month*s ago. but i love hachirokus. and hes nice. so yea. um so today, more work, more ultima. my alternator*s going… fuck it, i*m gonna just not replace it and see what happens. haha. its soooo good to see hamid an
d matty again. i love those boys. theyre such fucking dorks. the swap is starting to come together… getting my parts and such. so i come home, i*ve been up since six, and i get a call from lakeside (my old barn that i used to work//ride at… where motown lives) and they*re like ‘yeah we*ve got this new horse in that absolutely no one can ride cause he*s psycho so we want you to come down here on your days off from harley and ride him and train him’ and i*m like riding for free? hell yea. all in all, things are looking up… my mom hasn*t been home since i got here, she*s pretty much moved out… i*ve seen her maybe all of 20 minutes since i got home on saturday… dad*s been clean and sober since january so we*re gettin close now that he*s capable of being normal… that*s about it. friday night, this should be promising…

it must be like owning the sky…

June 17, 2003

i rode in a skyline.
I RODE IN A SKYLINE.
holy shit
I RODE IN A SKYLINE.
okay so there*s this guy who has a white r33 and he*s been to the shop before but i was in philly… so matt calls me today and tells me mark*s gonna be there… so of course i ran right over there. the car was beautiful. unbelievable. absolutely incredible. gorgeous. i almost cried.
so we were there for hours the car was gettin tires and like the guy who owned it was sooo sweet. so like when we*re leavin, he goes to back the car out to bring it around front, and i gathered all my courage and i was like omg can i come with you? so yeah, he let me. bride seats baby. so, i get in. and i was like omg omg omg. so like, yeah it was better than sex. so i don*t know how or why i said it, but i said ‘can u just take it around the block?’ and he actually DID. HOOOLLLLYYYY SHIIIIIT. i seriously screamed like an 8y/o brittney spears fan and i think i scerred him. haha. and i had this ridiculously huge smile on my face and for ten minutes i couldn*t stop saying oh my god. haha. and like, then when i got i
n my car to leave, he flew past me on sunrise and all i saw was the gt-r wing and the r33 tails and i nearly died.
haha you fuckers i got to ride in an r33 skyline gt-r and you didn*t!!!!!!!!!!