i hate seasonal depression

i hate seasonal depression. i really do. every year it makes me miserable…
i*ve had a history of depression, i*ve been on every medication out there… however i haven*t been on them for about two years now, and i*ve been doing really well.
but every winter it comes back… don*t get me wrong i love winter, the leaves change color, the crisp air, fresh snow, perfect turbo weather… but something about it just makes me so incredibly depressed i have the desire to do nothing except lay in bed under my blanket and hide from the world.
usually i can supress it. it*s not that hard.
but lately, with all the shit that*s going on,… my parents divorcing and selling the house without telling me, my car breaking, that *horrid* speeding ticket, jason stealing my trophy/prize money, this never-ending feeling of i*m-so-fucking-lonely, i*m just really bummed more than usual, and it*s scaring me, because i don*t know if i*ll be able to handle it on my own… but i don*t have a choice.
i don*t know what to do, i feel so lost, so
helpless…

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