my sleep schedule is all crazylike again…
i don’t dream.
i never dream.
sometimes, i wish that i did because i feel like i am missing out…
for the past two weeks i have been haunted by my dreams.
i wake up each morning panicking because for a fraction of a second, i believe it to be true.
then i realize it’s not.
and all i want is to go back to bed to avoid consciousness
but if i do, i will dream more
it’s a sleep catch22.
i wake up each morning hoping that, well, it will happen.
i wish with all my heart that this isn’t how it has to be
but that is why we dream in the first place, isn’t it?
i know why i am dreaming
i know who they are about
i know what is causing them
i know what they ‘mean’
but i don’t know how to stop them…
…sad thing is, i don’t know if i want them to stop
because if they do, it will mean that i’ve finally given up
and giving up is not in my vocabulary

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