so it’s been a while since i actually updated with specifics… and to be honest, it’s been so long, most of it has already gone fuzzy in my mind…
instead, here is a recap of my first run-in with california’s finest…
yeah, so it happened
i finally got pulled over by california police.
eep.
if i remember correctly, it was thursday the 6th. i know it was a thursday because i remember thinking ‘well, at least tomorrow is payday’ once he pulled me over…
i was sitting at the light on lomita and early, waiting to make the left so i could pull into the parking lot at work. it was 7:30am. there was a car behind me, and behind him, a motorcycle cop.
i saw him there, my car was smoking pretty badly, and i really prayed that he wouldn’t make the effort and follow me into work…
the light turned green, i made my left, and a quick right into the parking lot. i slide the car as quietly as possible into my spot, shut it off, open the door to get out as if nothing happened, and he rolls up behind me, lights flashing in all their glory…
%0
D
fuck.
him: “license, insurance and reigstration please”
me: ‘yes officer…’ as i flash my minibadge. hey, can’t hurt right?
him: “your car was smoking so badly at that light back there it nearly choked me”
quick ainsley, think of something to say to lighten the situation.
me: “yes officer, i am aware of that, it does the same to me, that’s why i drive with my windows up” 😉
smooth. real smooth…
but he lost his composure for a second and his face softened just a little
score! i’m in. that’s exactly what i wanted.
him: “uh, er, uh, what’s wrong with your car?”
the look on his face was priceless
me: ‘well to be honest, i’m not 100% sure. i just drove out here from new york and the car is smoking pretty badly, burns about a quart of oil a week, i’m assuming it’s bad valve seals but i don’t have the time or money or tools to fix it right now’
i showed him the case of oil i have to carry with me in the backseat as a just-in-case for added emphasis on my little speech
him: “well, with a motor that shot, you must have terrible compression”
dude was trying to call my bluff… that’s fine, i’m fair game
me: ‘yes officer, you’re right! it’s got 130 130 125 130 compression which is e
xtremely low for this motor.’

now that he realized i knew what i was talking about, his whole attitude changed.
he started asking me what i was doing out in LA (since i have a NYS license, tags, etc) so i explained about coop and that i’ll fix the car once i get back to the east coast and i am only here for a few more months etc etc, really cool guy, we had a pretty cool conversation
him: “i can’t tell you how refreshing it is to pull someone over and have them be honest with me. you have no idea how many times i pull these guys over in their hondas and they bullshit me like i was born yesterday. i really appreciate that you were so honest and upfront with me.”
we wound up actually just chillin and hangin out in the parking lot of my office for a half an hour. i was sitting on my trunk, he was chillin with his bike, and we were laughing and smiling and talking and the lights were still flashing and all of my co-workers started to arrive and were just staring because they were so confused.
well, after a while the cop says to me “i better get out of here, if anyone calls in to headquarters that i’ve been here talking and hanging out for a half an hour i could get into some trouble. best of luck with your job and finishing college, and i’ll tell the guys around town to keep an eye out for ya and leave you alone so you won’t get hassled”
no ticket
, no warning, and now i don’t have to worry about local pd anymore 🙂
california police – 0
me & the smokin G – 1
best.cop.ever.

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